


i’ll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams

by skyewart



Series: immortals [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Post-Episode: s02e10 What They Become, only one sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 08:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyewart/pseuds/skyewart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How do you do that?" Skye asks suddenly, her voice pained.</p><p>"Do what?"</p><p>His fingers linger, cupping her cheek lightly.</p><p>He can't bring himself to let go yet.</p><p>"That." She says and covers his hand with her own. "Touch me and not be afraid of what I might do to you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	i’ll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams

**Author's Note:**

> series and story title are from fall out boy - immortals

Ward isn't a trusting person.

He'd be stupid to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Especially in this line of work.

Still, he's surprised that Melinda May - of all people - is leading the manhunt for Skye.

 

Once he manages to tear his gaze from Skye, a series of questions form in his mind.

Why has May sent the order out?

Why not Coulson?

Is he simply too fond of Skye to send all of his allies after her?

Or is it because Coulson isn't operational enough to give any orders?

 

No matter how he twists and turns it though, Ward can't figure out why any S.H.I.E.L.D. agent or ally would just trail them.

And that's when the pieces slowly come together. "It's not S.H.I.E.L.D." He says, his eyes meeting Kara's.

She tilts her head and the glint in her eyes tell Ward she agrees.

And he knows that she dreads the unasked question and it's most likely answer just as much as he does.

"Hydra." Kara whispers and her voice trembles as she does.

Ward nods. "We need to go. Now."

He stands, allowing himself one more second to watch Skye as she breathes calmly in her sleep and then he picks up her gun.

"I'm gonna get us a new car." He doesn't say _wake Skye and explain the situation,_ he just heads for the door.

 

-

 

A gentle hand shakes Skye awake.

Opening her eyes proves to be difficult, after all the crying she has done earlier her lids do not want to be opened so soon.

"Skye, c'mon." The urgency of Kara's voice makes something inside of Skye snap to attention and she sits up, rubbing her bleary eyes. "What's going on?"

"We need to get going." Kara replies, straightening up and stepping away from the bed.

 

"Now? Where's Ward?" She adds, once her eyes sweep the room and she can't spot him anywhere.

"He's getting us a new car." And while she says it, Kara looks over her shoulder.

It rings all of Skye's alarms. "What's wrong?"

"We have a tail."

Skye freezes halfway off the bed, her eyes widening. "S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"No." Kara reassures her, turning back to look at Skye with something akin to pity in her eyes. "We think it might be Hydra."

Skye feels wide awake now and is out of the bed and ready to go in record time.

 

The two women exit the room and find Ward and their new car waiting just outside the door.

"You're not driving." Skye tells him decidedly once she takes in his appearance. It's painfully obvious he hasn't slept since they checked in. "Move over."

He sighs, but complies.

 

Skye gets into the drivers seat and waits until they are on the highway before she speaks again. "Where are we going?"

"Doesn't matter." Ward replies, as he leans out of the window to adjust the mirror by his door.

"Hey, I kind of need that to drive." Skye tells him. _And make sure we aren't followed_ , she wants to add. But that's obvious anyway.

Once he finishes, he moves his seat into the right position and only then does he answer. "You drive and I'll watch our backs, okay?"

Grant Ward watching her back. Sounds like something that can only end in a disaster.

But there's also a part of her that feels safer with him riding shotgun.

It's because he's good at what he does, Skye tells herself.

 

"So, what exactly is the plan?" She asks after about thirty minutes.

They haven't bothered to turn the radio on and the silence in the car is making her all the more nervous.

The tingling in her fingers has turned into full-blown vibrations and she's gripping onto the steering wheel like her life depends on it.

Their life, actually. And literally.

Ward's been watching the mirror ever since they left the motel, his jaw clenched.

And both he and Kara are wearing matching expressions.

Calculating ones.

Skye wonders if they realize that the person driving their car is a ticking time bomb.

 

After what feels like an eternity, someone answers her question.

"It would be best to pick a location that gives us a tactical advantage and draw them out." Kara says, leaning forward.

"We have only two guns." Ward simply says.

"Yeah," Kara counters and even though Skye can't see her face, she can feel her smile. "but we have Skye."

Skye whips her head around to look at Kara with wide eyes.

Ward sighs. It's a long, deep sigh and it tells Skye that he has at least considered it, too.

It also tells her that both of them are aware of how hard Skye is trying to keep herself together.

"I can't really control it, you know." She fixes her eyes on the road in front of her and her voice comes out small and timid.

 

"Skye." Ward starts but Skye interrupts him. "You two need to be away from me, as far as possible. Put enough distance between us, so that you aren't effected by whatever I do. Besides, they want me anyway."

"We're not using you as bait, Skye." Ward tells her firmly, but Skye feels a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Kara's hand is warm and she gives Skye a reassuring squeeze and says, "You just have to distract them long enough for us to take them down."

Ward is so silent that Skye turns her head towards him. "You got something to say?" She all but growls and he shoots a glare towards Kara, then Skye.

"You're concerned, I get it. But May trained me, I can handle myself." She says with an air of finality and faces the road again.

 

Speaking about May hurts.

The knowledge that her SO described her as a potential threat, an unstable and dangerous one at that, makes Skye want to crawl into the deepest, darkest hole and cry for weeks, at least.

Everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. knows what _unstable and dangerous_  means.

Skye's not someone, who will be handled gently and with care once they find her. The order is to bring her in, _by any means necessary_.

And if that isn't possible, well.. Skye tries very hard not think of how she shot Donnie Gill and how his lifeless body fell into the ocean.

S.H.I.E.L.D. is - _was_ \- her family.

But all she is to them now is either an asset, a lab rat or an enemy.

They were her first and only constant.

She's just an if to them.

A sob is trying to crawl it's way out of her throat but Skye swallows it down.

And notices how the car is shaking beneath her.

Skye takes a deep breath and the shaking stops slowly but eventually.

 

"I know you do." Ward says, his voice so quiet that Skye almost,  _almost_ misses it.

 

-

 

They stop at a gas station around noon.

The three of them tumble out of the car and stretch out their tense limbs.

"I'm starving." Skye groans as she walks past Ward and starts gassing the car.

"Me, too." Kara chimes in.

"I'll see what they have." Ward tells them, but only after he takes a long look around to check they are safe, does he walk away form them.

He walks through the station, checking the very few shelves for anything that is more nutritional than a bag of chips.

Ward is disappointed, to say the least.

He's about to grab about a dozen bags of trail mix, when Kara comes up to him. "That's not gonna be enough." She informs him before filling the tiny basket she's holding with an array of junk food.

"You do the shopping then, I'm gonna check on Skye."

 

He finds her sitting on the hood of the car. She's leaning back on her hands, legs stretched out before her, head tipped back.

Her eyes are closed and Ward is about to remark that being on the run isn't the time to relax in the sun, when she speaks up. "Tell me you've brought something to eat."

Instead he chuckles. "Sorry, Kara's still picking through the store."

She sighs but her eyes remain closed. He can't tear his gaze from her. A small smile forms on her lips. "Enjoying yourself?" She asks and opens her eyes.

He doesn't bother to look away, act like he hasn't been staring at her for the past minute.

She sits up and leans over to him. "You keep looking at me like I'm gonna break down any second now." She tells him, conversationally.

"Are you?" He counters, trying to match her tone.

She sighs, deeply and leans back again. "Honestly? I don't know."

 

Ward closes the distance between them and only stops moving when his legs hit the car.

Skye doesn't move away, doesn't move closer either, just keeps watching him with that unreadable expression of hers.

His heart is pounding against his rib cage and he wonders briefly if she might be able to hear it.

"Skye-" He doesn't know what to say, but he wants to do something.

Anything that can help.

So he reaches for that loose strand of hair, slow enough for her to see and pull back if she wants to.

When she doesn't, he tucks it behind her ear.

 

Skye's gaze burns into him and Ward's trying so hard to keep his breathing even.

"How do you do that?" Skye asks suddenly, her voice pained.

"Do what?"

His fingers linger, cupping her cheek lightly.

He can't bring himself to let go yet.

"That." She says and covers his hand with her own. "Touch me and not be afraid of what I might do to you."

Her eyes are wide and shine with unshed tears.

She's shaking under his touch.

It hurts more than being shot four times.

 

"Because I-"

His throat closes and he tries desperately to think of anything but  _that._

He wants to tell her that not touching her is torture.

That he would go to the ends of the world to stop her from feeling the way she is now.

That he would risk his own life if it meant making hers better.

He doesn't say any of that, because she's finally started to open up to him and he doesn't want to destroy that.

She doesn't feel the same way, she's made that painfully clear.

 

-

 

Skye waits - waits and watches him as he thinks.

The tidal wave of emotions that is surging beneath her skin tries to fight its way out of her.

His hand cradling her face feels like a lifeline.

Skye holds onto it.

With everything she has.

 

"Because I'm all you've got."

 

It's not what he was trying to say before and some part of Skye is glad that it's not.

His voice isn't as gentle as it was when he stammered out the other two words.

No, it's calm and he says it like he's stating a fact.

Like it's the only truth he knows and she really should have, too.

Maybe he's trying to be cruel.. Maybe he just thinks it's obvious.

But above all, he's right.

 

She can't stop the single tear that falls from her eye.

Ward's other hand comes up to catch it and wipe it away.

It feels like he's trying to erase the agony she's feeling.

And Ward _is_ right.

He is all she's got.

 

Ward is the only person, who ever mattered to her and did not end up turning his back on her.

But he is also the one, who betrayed her in the worst way possible.

She opened up to him, let herself hope for something and he used that against her.

Let it crumble and turn to dust.

Left her broken ~~ _hearted_~~.

 

But she is in pieces now and her family is after her.

And Ward is here, holding her face with his big, warm hands and looking at her like she's the most precious thing in the world.

Not long ago she hated the way he looked at her - no, she hated how it _made her feel_ , but now...

 

Everything feels different now.

Her world has been turned upside down and she doesn't know what's right and wrong anymore.

Skye never felt more lost.

Not when she was thirteen and her foster dad told her no one would ever believe her if she told them.

Not when she ran from the orphanage taking nothing but her school bag with her.

Not when she had nowhere to go and slept on a park bench for weeks.

Not when she didn't know how to keep herself from starving.

 

But right now there's one thing that keeps her from loosing the last bit of control she has over herself.

His hands on her skin.

 

She never had someone, who stayed.

She never had anyone, who just didn't want to leave her.

Or give up on her.

 

"Yes, you are." She says, with a small smile and closes her eyes.

 

-

 

Kara doesn't get to wonder for long why Ward hasn't come back to complain about her taking too long.

Equipped with three full bags and a laptop under her arm, Kara spots Skye sitting on the hood of the car and Ward standing in front of her.

His hands are holding her face and they are so close, their foreheads are almost touching.

Their eyes are closed and for a brief moment Kara considers just walking back into the station and let them have this moment.

But there's someone after them and they need to keep moving.

So, she announces her arrival by saying, "I come bearing gifts."

 

As expected, they break apart. Both of them look startled, like they don't quite understand what just happened.

Even as Ward moves away from Skye, he seems reluctant to do so. She slides off the hood and lands softly on her feet.

Kara feels like an intruder, but then Skye looks at her and gives her a brilliant smile.

It's those kinds of smiles that warm your heart and Kara can't stop herself from smiling back.

Skye spots the laptop under Kara's arm and a glint, Kara has never seen before, appears in her eyes.

"Oh, my god!" The other woman lunges for the laptop and has seemingly forgotten all about how hungry she is.

 

Kara catches sight of Ward and the small smile on his face as he claims the passenger seat.

Skye has made herself comfortable in the backseat, with her legs tucked under her and the computer on her lap.

"It might be password protected." Kara warns Skye, as she gets into the car and starts it. "I nicked it while the cashier was in the backroom."

Skye just snorts in response. "Oh please, like some silly password is going to be a problem for me."

"You're that good, huh?" Kara asks her and wonders what exactly she and Ward talked about while she was gone.

Skye seems different, less tense and somehow more alive.

 

She doesn't even have to study Ward to see what's different about him.

It feels like he was a cloudy, grey sky before and now he's bathing the world in sunshine and baby blue skies.

He's not smiling or whistling his favorite tune or anything like that but Kara is as much of a specialist as he is and even though he's trying to hide his emotions, his body betrays him.

It seems like she's got to be the one to watch their backs.

At least until the other two come back into the real world.

 

"Got it." Skye announces from the backseat. "Aaaaand we're online."

Ward digs a flash drive from his pocket and turns around to hand it to Skye.

"What's on it?" Skye asks, but she's already taken hold of it and plugged it in.

"Something that should help you hack into the Hydra servers."

Skye gives him an appreciative smile and starts to work.

 

-

 

The familiar sound of Skye typing away on a laptop is like music to Ward's ears.

He never realized how relaxing the sound is until he didn't hear it on a daily basis anymore.

He closes his eyes and it almost feels like they are on the bus again.

 

Ward has tried to tell himself countless times that he doesn't regret what he did to them.

Everything he did was to save Garrett.

But that's simply not true.

Garrett wanted him to infiltrate Coulson's team, gain his trust and get intel.

He never asked Ward to be vulnerable and form actual attachments.

But how could he not?

 

He had been compromised more than once.

The Berserker Staff.

Lorelei.

Both of which left Ward feeling weak and unprotected.

And forced him to deal with feelings he never wanted to acknowledge.

 

But the team had been there for him.

 _Skye_ had been there for him.

Every step of the way.

She cared enough to seek him out and talk to him.

And Ward - stupid, weak Ward - let her get under his skin.

 

At the time, he thought of it as just another way to gain their trust and friendship.

Thinking back now, he realizes how wrong he was.

It wasn't just them, who had been fooled.

He, too, was a victim of his own games.

 

"Guys..." Skye's voice pulls him out of his thoughts and back into the car. "I think we might have a problem."

"Do I have to pull over?" Kara asks with a sigh.

"No, I don't think so." The other woman replies.

"What did you find out?" Ward throws in a little impatiently, twisting around in his seat to look at Skye.

"Hydra isn't after us. They don't even know I survived." Skye explains and their eyes meet. "They managed to dig Raina out of the city, but she.. she's not herself. It says here that she was  _'unable to report'_ and that they are holding her in a cell."

"It's not like she doesn't deserve it." Kara growls.

"What else?" Ward asks quickly, not wanting to branch out too much.

"That's it, really. You two are on the 'unaccounted for' list, they are not too happy about that btw. I'm in the dead pile. They never sent anyone after any of us."

 

"So, it's not Hydra then." Kara concludes. "Maybe it _is_ S.H.I.E.L.D. after all."

"No, it's not." Skye replies quickly. "I just checked their data stream and there's no updates on me or you. Besides they have other things to deal with."

At his questioning look, Skye simply shrugs. "Talbot found out S.H.I.E.L.D. being in San Juan, wants to meet Coulson to have a chat and all."

"Has Coulson agreed to it?" Ward asks, trying to keep his voice neutral.

He has his suspicions about Coulson's (not so) wellbeing and him personally meeting Talbot would disprove his theory.

"Nope." Skye replies and Ward nods slowly.

 

"Back to our little problem then." Kara says. "Ward, did you see anything suspicious all day?"

He shakes his head. "Whoever is after us knows what they are doing."

"How did you even know someone was after us?" Skye asks, directing the question to no one in particular.

"When I left to get supplies, back at the motel, I caught a glimpse of someone watching me. They were in the room down the hall. I just saw a hand, curled around the curtain to pull it back. He was wearing a ring, nothing fancy but with character. And later when I was at a store, I saw the same ring."

"Ok, so you're not totally paranoid then." Skye sighs. "But that doesn't mean we haven't shaken them off."

"It's possible." Kara replies with a frown. "But like Ward said, the guy was good. I almost missed him."

"Fine. Now that we're all rested and riled up, can we find a good place to get this show going?" Skye asks, leaning over the laptop to pick up some snacks.

"You're the one with the laptop." Ward points out and Skye rolls her eyes.

Fighting the urge to smile, Ward leans back against his seat.

 

He listens as Skye rips open a pack of something and starts eating.

It turns out to be chips, if he's going by the crunching sounds she's making.

Soon the car is once again filled with the sound of Skye working away on the laptop.

She even clicks her tongue every once in a while.

It feels like he's back on the bus.

 

No, it feels better.

Because this time it's real.

No lies, no hidden missions.

 

It feels like the one thing he never had and always wished for.

A home.

**Author's Note:**

> wow, this got really sappy really fast.  
> let me know if it was a little too sappy, yeah?


End file.
